So are you married to a spender or a saver? I have been married almost 31 years and I still can't get used to my husband not wanting to save! Grinds my teeth! I began reading some on this, how to save my marriage or take him off the accounts?! ha!
They say that opposite money-management styles can really complicate a marriage. (I say, no duh!) This is what I found on the topic. I hope it can help me and anyone out there that suffers the same.
"The differences you may have glossed over before can't be ignored now, because there's less money," says Marcia Brixey, author of The Money Therapist: A Woman's Guide to Creating a Healthy Financial Life. But there are plenty of things you can do to find common ground, says Katherine Yost, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in Belluvue, Washington. With planning, everybody can adapt to the new economy and have his or her emotional needs met at the same time.
For starters, they say, let the spender spend. (ummm, ok that's the problem!) People who are told "No" to everything begin to feel resentful and deprived, (ok so what?!) and sooner or later they'll break out with a spending binge. Everybody gets at least a little discretionary cash--and with it a sense of freedom. (I am missing out here!)
Similarly, allow the saver to save. Putting some money away for a rainy day is fiscally sound, yes. (and mature!) But people who keep a tight rein on spending need to continue doing so to ease their sense of helplessness about what's in the news or what's happening at work. A dollar save feels like insurance to them. (so TRUE!)
Most important, though, is to make new couple rules. "When financial guidelines are explicit," says Yost, "the whole family does better."
I have to say, I have tighten the belt these days, but really more on me than my husband. I make sure the savings account is now a bill. Some money has to go into that account. I give myself about $20.00 a week and him, I give $100.00. Your probably asking, "Is she NUTS!?" He has to get some groceries out of that too. Even though he is unemployed, which makes him feel less because he is not taking care of the family and leaving me to be the sole bread winner. I still want to allow him his dignity.
So as for making many rules as some of the marriage therapist list, I have one ground rule. Savings account is a bill and with it is a set amount that goes in. The next is the bills and what's left is to spend. So far it has worked pretty darn good. But I will keep you posted, as we have only done this for three months!
Until then, have a great Tuesday!